im just me .

i live a simple life . im different so ppl call me weird . im open so ppl call me names . i strive so ppl think im greedy . i have standards so ppl think im stuck up . im honest so ppl call me rude . im diverse so ppl think im confused . im aware so i dont always fit in . im undefined so ppl try to label me . im easy to get along with but hard to approach . im educated so therefore im selective . i dont judge i imagine . i talk about ppl i dont know , when they walk past . im observative so dnt mind if i stare . im goofy so ppl think im strange . im sick of everyone trying to rap , so my friends think i doubt them . i do things i dont support and i support things i dont do , so ppl call me fake . im slow sometimes so ppl try to say im stupid . i fear lots of things so ppl call me a coward . ive been through alot so ppl call me a handful . im sarcastic so ppl call me a smart ass . im elaborate so ppl think i yearn for attention . im secretive so ppl call me a liar . ive kissed a girl and liked it so ppl think im bi . im opinionated and im NOT afraid to state what i think . im pretty laid back so ppl dont take me serious . i talk alot when im comfortable so guys think i talk to every1 . ive lied a quite a few times , ive cheated a few more , ive done some fucked up things , and ive said some fucked up things , ive betrayed a person or two , ive stole quite an ammount of stuff , ive smoked , ive drank , ive committed too many sins , ive fought , ive done more than ive bargained for . but , the truth is , youre all just people and we live in the same world . we breath the same air and we drink the same water . im human so give me a fucking pass!!

-Holly Cabrera .

Random Thoughts .

i know that everybody is different in their own ways . .im different in mine and you are different in yours . but sometimes i feel as though we are ALL capable of the same things its just mind over matter . . like relationship s for example. . . now as you know im not big on them ,BUT i have VERY VERY strong views on them. the way i see relationships is much more serious than alot of people my age do . . i feel like a relationship is some sort of pact. . when u devote yourself to somebody u make a pact to respect them and their wishes and their feelings and thoughts etc. . THATS a relationship eventhough thats typical for a basic friendship. when u "love" somebody and think youve found that right person i dont know what woud stop u from hanging on to them . . . i understand that alot of people are scared of the love thing or the relationship thing because everyone is scared to get hurt and thats normal , its expected and thats understandable. although i have my own outlook on life . .i believe in taking chances and risks and living on the edge . everyone always says to live each day like its your last but people waste all their time playing it safe !. . call me crazy but the LAST thing i want for myself is to live thinking "what if" . .thats the worst . .people tend to wak away from life changing oppurtunities because theres a 50% chance that it could change your life in a negative way . NOW, even though i can respect that . .i think that walking away is ALSO taking a 50% chance of your life changing in a negative way . .so why not just go the full mile and see what could happen . . .the worst that can happpen is yu dont work out . and then , , walk away just like u would have i the begining . . now some people would be like okay so if i might just walk away in the end anyway why even try it ? . . honestly . i have no response nor do i have respect for that thats just ignorant to me i like people who are open minded and ready to take on anything . .and if you waste your whole life living in the safe zone well , id hardly call that "living life" . the point is . get out there , try everything once . because i know that when it comes to me?? i could live with trying and not succeeding but i could NEVER live with knowing that i didnt try and if i HAD tried i could have succeeded . . just think about that !

- Holly Cabrera .

Quits .

Ever feel like you want to just give up?

Like you wanna jus pack your bags and get in the truck?

Go forever and ever and never look back .

You'll probably never be ready to ever go back .

And to try things again . Get in the 2nd round ...

Got this pressure in my chest and its tearing me down ....

Got this got that got everything else .

Just wanna walk away into the darkness and forget everyone else ..

And just have me . Just talk to myself . Ask me the questions I need to know for myself .

Figure out why , figure out how i got here .

Think of a possible plan to act on if I ever go back to what got me here ..

The pain is movin to my stomach and its getting so much stronger .

Its taking over my heart i cant take this much longer ...

I really wanna just give up on every THING and every ONE..

Pretend nothing exists. Pretend i won !

And pretend I fought the battle and i won the war .

Knowing I didn't win shit. Just fought and fought until my emotions were sore .

Now I lay in this bed imagining a fantasy . anything but whats real.

Gotta get away from it . Its gonna kill the best of me .

its gonna catch me off guard . Guess I gotta keep it pushin for a few more yards .

- Holly Cabrera .

aint it funny ?

Its funny how us humans work .
Everybodys different .
Everyone lives in their own little world .
Not everybody feels the same pain .

No 2 thoughts are ever the same .
No 2 people live the same exact lives .

&&` no 2 ppl tell the same exact lies .

But every back can turn .
Every mouth can lie .
Every mind can minipulate .
Nobody knows why .
Its funny how that happens isn't it?
One minute sky high .
Next minute below low .
Don't hold anything above anyone .
Only god knows their next move of minipulation .
The next move of deceit .
Its you you must protect .Its the world you can't beat .
But you cannot be gotten .
Consider what you've got .
The knowledge &&` wisdom , you're something that they're not .
Your mouth can do back just what theirs did to you .
Your mind can think thoughts that they thought about you .
Your heart can wish things they onced wished on you .
Andd so your actions speak louder than words , let that be true .
Think what you please , wish what you desire . Say what you feel . But never let them get higher .
Because you have the knowledge , the wisdom , and heart , to rise above the rest of them &&` play your own part .

- Holly Cabrera .

i love my fav Amber .

OHHHHH FAAAAV! . i love my fav this is my fav mhm yup sure is . and im hers . shes my fav AND I CALL HER THAT FOR A REASON . . oh how i love her . shes my little dumpling . mhmm . sure . my lil egg roll eatin store walkin fav . ouu yeahh she was a bum one time in my fantasy land had a trash bag full of life . ouuuuyeahh she understands me and i love her . . all the things we go through individually are crazy but we always find a way to make eachother laugh . i love her dearly . shes dear to my heart . ohhhhh what a dear . weirdest strangest funniest goofiest lil rugrat ive ever met . .ohhhh faaaav . her mommys nice and her brothers a lil jerk . ayeeeee . .  oh fav . im in love with her . were gonna get married one day . but were not gay . just in love =) ohhh faav . . i owe her tacos and she owes me her LIFE lol jk. oh fav how i love you . any man that passes her up is an IDIOT a big toe sucking IDIOT!!!! and i despise them and i despise everybody thats ever made her mad or unhappy i will shoot them wth my cap gun !!! . ghrrrr i love you fav =) ohhh faaaaav .

i love my baby mama .

<<< that RIGHT THERE . mhmmm thats my bitch Dayna muthaFUCKIN T . . aka my baby mamaaaaa wit her rude ass . . thats that baby mama looooveeeeee . . . she my twitter whore and im hers . . we just dont really give a fuck or 2 or any for that matter . we just mean . and we some daddy snatcherssssss . lmao . follow us on twitter and we'll show you . we some trend settin bitches . lemme find out muthafuckas start talkin like us . really? really? REALLY??? uhn uhhhhhhhn . .lemme find OUT!!!!! tell em bitch tell em (gremlin voice) anyone reading this probably wont understand this but her though . lol lemme find out u laughin at me for crawlin drunk on the floor but bitch ima let you find out that the floor im crawlin on is worth more than yo LIFE!!! so go ahead and keep it pushin . we attract the finest and and thats just how it is . okay HAAAAAAAAAAAY . we be off that GRAPE DRANK uh huh . . beter ask somebodyyy . she lil & im big but who caresss . we see eye to fucking EYE so =p . . ily baby mammaaaa ill never let ya go . hahah .

Actually .

have you ever met a person that just makes u overly infatuated with them ? and u wish you could be with them but you know it will NEVER happen ? there may have been that one day or night where you thought maybe , just MAYBE but no . . it never happened . they never give you the attention you want from them but you just dont care you think theyre amazing anyways .

I actually think you're amazing . that's your name in my phone , my aim , my mind , my heart . I actually think you're incredible . the way you walk , your talk , you're out of this world smart . I actually think you're beyond it all . your mind , your words , &&` mostly your goals . I actually think you're mesmorizing . Your eyes, your lips, your hair, your scent . I actualy think you're an angel . Your glow , your vibe, your entirely heaven sent . I actually think you're intriguing . The way you type, the way you look, the way you strive for what you get . I actualy think you're sexy .The way you turn your head , the way you stand , the way you lick your lips . I actually think you're funny . Your sense of humor , your smart remarks, your laughters a form of art . I actually think you're a blessing . To whoever gets you , to whoever yu love, to whoever finds you, and makes you fall in love . I actually think you're intelligent . The words you use , what's in your mind , you're prospectives on things, and how yu feel about life . I actually think youre adorable . The faces you make , the smirks on yur face , a price couldn't pay for your brown eyes . I actually think you're lovely . Pleasure to be around , enjoyable all around . I actually think you're pretty cool . Real down to earth, pretty understanding, pretty cooperative , you pretty much rule . I actually think you're priceless .The tone of your voice, your signature face, your specific words yu use on a regular basis . I actually think you're amazing . that's your name in my phone , my aim , my mind , my heart . I actually want you to be mine . And I actually want to be yours . And I actually know that you'll never know this part I'm sure !

- Holly Cabrera .