fantasy .

When the world around you crumbles . and the room you're in darkens . look outside your window , look at the sun and look at the sky . what do you see? you see a world of open air . so why do you feel so trapped? why do u feel so suffocated ? when the only consistant thing in your life in lonliness , the rest of the world brightens their faces with their joy . the rest of the world prances around and laughs . the rest of the world has no problems on their shoulders . and eveytime you feel like you've broken that glass shell , like you've crossed that bridge . you only come to find that you're believing your own fantasy . a fantasy of when you shake someones hand you feel the greeting . a fantasy of when you give someone a hug you feel the warmth . a fantasy of when somebody says hello you feel their kindness . a fantasy of where you dont drown yourself to sleep in your own sympathy everynight . a fantasy of where your tears dont shed themselves with no reasoning and no explanation . a fantasy of when you wake and you actually feel awake . a fantasy of where life is worth fighting for . a fantasy of where your eyes are lucky to see your own life . a fantasy of where you can feel  . you creep around the corners of happiness' house just to see what its like and its never a clear view . you follow joy around just to see what shes up to . you chase love all around the block just to see if you can catch it . and at the end of night your just a secret of your own that you keep inside . so you sleep in that sympathy bed and you curl up in those unhappy covers . just to wake up and cry it out then to live your day with no meaning , no satisfaction , no value . and to go to sleep at night and do it all over again until your clock strikes 12 .

-Holly Cabrera .