im just me .

i live a simple life . im different so ppl call me weird . im open so ppl call me names . i strive so ppl think im greedy . i have standards so ppl think im stuck up . im honest so ppl call me rude . im diverse so ppl think im confused . im aware so i dont always fit in . im undefined so ppl try to label me . im easy to get along with but hard to approach . im educated so therefore im selective . i dont judge i imagine . i talk about ppl i dont know , when they walk past . im observative so dnt mind if i stare . im goofy so ppl think im strange . im sick of everyone trying to rap , so my friends think i doubt them . i do things i dont support and i support things i dont do , so ppl call me fake . im slow sometimes so ppl try to say im stupid . i fear lots of things so ppl call me a coward . ive been through alot so ppl call me a handful . im sarcastic so ppl call me a smart ass . im elaborate so ppl think i yearn for attention . im secretive so ppl call me a liar . ive kissed a girl and liked it so ppl think im bi . im opinionated and im NOT afraid to state what i think . im pretty laid back so ppl dont take me serious . i talk alot when im comfortable so guys think i talk to every1 . ive lied a quite a few times , ive cheated a few more , ive done some fucked up things , and ive said some fucked up things , ive betrayed a person or two , ive stole quite an ammount of stuff , ive smoked , ive drank , ive committed too many sins , ive fought , ive done more than ive bargained for . but , the truth is , youre all just people and we live in the same world . we breath the same air and we drink the same water . im human so give me a fucking pass!!

-Holly Cabrera .

Random Thoughts .

i know that everybody is different in their own ways . .im different in mine and you are different in yours . but sometimes i feel as though we are ALL capable of the same things its just mind over matter . . like relationship s for example. . . now as you know im not big on them ,BUT i have VERY VERY strong views on them. the way i see relationships is much more serious than alot of people my age do . . i feel like a relationship is some sort of pact. . when u devote yourself to somebody u make a pact to respect them and their wishes and their feelings and thoughts etc. . THATS a relationship eventhough thats typical for a basic friendship. when u "love" somebody and think youve found that right person i dont know what woud stop u from hanging on to them . . . i understand that alot of people are scared of the love thing or the relationship thing because everyone is scared to get hurt and thats normal , its expected and thats understandable. although i have my own outlook on life . .i believe in taking chances and risks and living on the edge . everyone always says to live each day like its your last but people waste all their time playing it safe !. . call me crazy but the LAST thing i want for myself is to live thinking "what if" . .thats the worst . .people tend to wak away from life changing oppurtunities because theres a 50% chance that it could change your life in a negative way . NOW, even though i can respect that . .i think that walking away is ALSO taking a 50% chance of your life changing in a negative way . .so why not just go the full mile and see what could happen . . .the worst that can happpen is yu dont work out . and then , , walk away just like u would have i the begining . . now some people would be like okay so if i might just walk away in the end anyway why even try it ? . . honestly . i have no response nor do i have respect for that thats just ignorant to me i like people who are open minded and ready to take on anything . .and if you waste your whole life living in the safe zone well , id hardly call that "living life" . the point is . get out there , try everything once . because i know that when it comes to me?? i could live with trying and not succeeding but i could NEVER live with knowing that i didnt try and if i HAD tried i could have succeeded . . just think about that !

- Holly Cabrera .

Quits .

Ever feel like you want to just give up?

Like you wanna jus pack your bags and get in the truck?

Go forever and ever and never look back .

You'll probably never be ready to ever go back .

And to try things again . Get in the 2nd round ...

Got this pressure in my chest and its tearing me down ....

Got this got that got everything else .

Just wanna walk away into the darkness and forget everyone else ..

And just have me . Just talk to myself . Ask me the questions I need to know for myself .

Figure out why , figure out how i got here .

Think of a possible plan to act on if I ever go back to what got me here ..

The pain is movin to my stomach and its getting so much stronger .

Its taking over my heart i cant take this much longer ...

I really wanna just give up on every THING and every ONE..

Pretend nothing exists. Pretend i won !

And pretend I fought the battle and i won the war .

Knowing I didn't win shit. Just fought and fought until my emotions were sore .

Now I lay in this bed imagining a fantasy . anything but whats real.

Gotta get away from it . Its gonna kill the best of me .

its gonna catch me off guard . Guess I gotta keep it pushin for a few more yards .

- Holly Cabrera .

aint it funny ?

Its funny how us humans work .
Everybodys different .
Everyone lives in their own little world .
Not everybody feels the same pain .

No 2 thoughts are ever the same .
No 2 people live the same exact lives .

&&` no 2 ppl tell the same exact lies .

But every back can turn .
Every mouth can lie .
Every mind can minipulate .
Nobody knows why .
Its funny how that happens isn't it?
One minute sky high .
Next minute below low .
Don't hold anything above anyone .
Only god knows their next move of minipulation .
The next move of deceit .
Its you you must protect .Its the world you can't beat .
But you cannot be gotten .
Consider what you've got .
The knowledge &&` wisdom , you're something that they're not .
Your mouth can do back just what theirs did to you .
Your mind can think thoughts that they thought about you .
Your heart can wish things they onced wished on you .
Andd so your actions speak louder than words , let that be true .
Think what you please , wish what you desire . Say what you feel . But never let them get higher .
Because you have the knowledge , the wisdom , and heart , to rise above the rest of them &&` play your own part .

- Holly Cabrera .